Buddha Belly

Over the holidays Brian, normally a guy who is hard as a rock, put on some pounds. I wrestle with how to tell him that I can't stay in this marriage if he doesn't get his body back because I don't care for him much past the Men's Fitness exterior. I mean, let's be honest, I married Brian for his earning potential and his body. That was back when the me living in the now was making decisions that were guaranteed to ruin me in the future's day to day happiness. Brian said to me the other day that we should make an effort to make friends with a black couple because of Obama. I told him that was a great idea, but I mean, it's preposterous to make friends with people just because they're black. And insulting. Point is, he's not the brightest bulb in the basket. So I need him to look good! What I think is the best approach is to start a belittling war on his flub. I'll just point out the parts of his body I have a problem with, in a jokey, baby voice, and he will get the passive aggressive idea.