Pants

Brian thinks that going Macy's to buy him new business wear is fun for me. It's not. I'm not allowed a credit card to buy myself things, to reward myself for living another day, but I can borrow his card to buy him $500 in pants. I've figured out a way to make it worth my while though. I buy him pants I know he will wear and pants I want him to "try". These "try" pants are new, hip pants that he would never, in a million trillion years, be caught dead in. When I bring them home, he tries them all on then gives me the ones he doesn't like to return. When I go back to Macy's, I don't return the pants, but simply exchange them for merchandise I've placed on hold during my first trip. Now, this merchandise, my stuff, makeup, purses, shoes, clothes, have all been carefully assembled to add up to the exact amount of the returned pants. No paper trail on the old credit card, and in a month when Brian asks me what was bought at Macy's I say "Your pants!". He never even remembers the returns! It's an insane racket! And because he is a typical guy, when he sees something new on me, I can just say it's old and he feels bad that he didn't remember it! Because why would I lie to him?