New Friend

So I have a new friend here at work. Her name is Jackie Kirkpatrick and, well, she's pretty much the best lady I've ever met in my life. She confided in me last week at lunch that she has an open marriage. Well, it wasn't really confided, she pretty much tells it like it is. Kind of like how I imagine Dolly Parton talks. She told me all about it. How her and her husband don't talk about who they are sleeping with outside the marriage. She told me that she's only had one outside lover from the relationship and that he was kind of a stupid hot guy and how they make the best ones because then you don't want to leave your husband for them. I couldn't tell her about Tyler. Not yet. But I'm really excited about the idea that I could have a girlfriend to talk about all this exciting stuff with!

How Babies Are Made

Where can I get a copy of this book?It would save me a lot of stammering explanations.

Hot lunch

Tyler and I have been having amazing lunches. It seems like we can talk forever and thankfully both our jobs aren't the punch in, punch out types. I just said "our jobs". Wow, I really feel like an adult again. Speaking of feeling like an adult, guess who just gave someone a blow job in a hotel room? That she actually enjoyed. ME!

We are taking it super slow. This was the furthest we've gone and you could tell by the, um, quickness of it all. I'm kind of glad it didn't take a long time. It's best to get first time things over with quickly then next time you can skip the awkwardness and get right to the fun!

Mummy

Ok, time for one of two things. Be nicer to Bekka or leave her for good. This story scares me.

Burning that candle

I can't imagine being a single mom. I mean, if push came to shove, I just wouldn't raise kids myself. I would leave those kids at a church doorstep in a heartbeat. I am barely able to do all mom things I did before I started designing part time again. Which is why I've made an executive decision for the first time in this house - to make Brian take the kids to activities on the days I have off. So, two days a week he has to come home at a reasonable hour and take the kids to some sort of rehearsal. That means I still have to take the kids to things in the evenings of the three three days I work, but in return I am getting two days of actual alone time. Sure I'm doing laundry and dishes, but it's uninterrupted laundry and dishes. Brian tried to tell me he didn't have time to take the kids to their "extra" activities and I said to him "Well, I guess your kids won't be well rounded enough to go to college". Having kids that don't get a higher education is a great weapon against a man who measures everything in degrees, awards and trophies.

Everything happens at once

The partner at my old design firm, Gunkelman FLESHER , called me last week and offered me part time work at my old design firm. His exact words were, "We need you."

He even offered me a new Mac loaded with Photoshop, Illustrator and InteriCAD 6000 so I could work from home, coming into the office one day a week. I told them I would be happy to come into the office three days a week.

So, for the past week I've been designing a new bar for the Chambers hotel. By myself. It's been amazing. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to write about what's going on, but I will certainly keep this blog as updated as I can. I'd like to increase my workload to 5 full days a week. It'll take me a few weeks to blow off the old low self esteem dust, but once I'm warmed up, I can charm the work right out of them.

In the meantime, the kids will be at summer camp.

Paid for by mommy.

Suck on that Brian.

And guess who has a standing Friday lunch with Tyler? This lady (I am pointing two thumbs at myself).

Mommy Dearest

Cody will never let this happen to me. Thank God my son is probably gay.

Passive Aggressive

Tonight is the first night I've had any time to myself since Brian started demanding that we have sex every night. I mean, it's not exactly assault, cause forced-ish sex falls in a gray area when you are married. And normally I don't care since I get that this is part of the deal, but it just feels like he's trying to prove something and that means we're both pretending. And when no one wants it, it's like kid of a waste of my time. Which is why tonight I told him "no". And saying "no" felt good. Except he took it as a challenge and tried to manhandle me. I kept telling him I needed a break but he didn't listen. He wouldn't stop so I punched him in the face. I take kickboxing class and my right hook is amazing considering I've only ever punched my reflection in an aerobics studio mirror. His nose started bleeding and he was so dumbfounded he didn't know what to say. Then I told him he can think about what if someone manhandled his daughter like that and he got the point real fast. He's asleep right now with toilet paper in his nose. What a jerk.

End of Days

School ended today. Goodbye alone time. Goodbye structure. Goodbye Tyler?

Hot Tip

Thanks to one of my readers for sending me this article from the New York Times. One of the best quotes is this:

"Pay attention to your own needs, he writes, back off on your children and everyone will be happier and better adjusted."

Could being a Resentful Mom and hiding my real emotions and desires actually making my kids into terrible people? If so, it's time to stop being polite and start getting real.

What Women Want

One of the many problems with women's magazines is that they are bi-polar. Take for example, this issue of Women's Day.



One one hand, there's a huge, delicious photo of a pie. Which you just want to dive your face right into. It's a strawberry pie because strawberries are in season. But to the left of that is a teaser "Special Report save-your-life health check". Doesn't it stand to reason that if strawberry pies are in season, so are just plain delicious strawberries? That could be one way to save your health. Eating something other than this pie.

Thankfully, I have the "will power" to avoid things like this. And by "will power" I mean self hatred.

555 Pounds of Responsibility

Holy fried fish! Award goes to the mother of this kid for best "Neglectful Mom". Holy sheesh.