Sunday, March 22, 2009

Thomas Kin-crap

Thomas Kinkade, "Painter of Light" represents everything I hate about Maple Grove. The fact that a Thomas Kinkade gallery even exists here is proof positive that this is hell. If you're not familiar with his use of idealism and sentimentality to sell paintings via mail order and franchises to dumb dumbs, consider yourself lucky. Unlike my counterparts here, I have a minor in Art History, which makes Thomas Kinkade especially excruciating to talk about. When Thomas comes up, usually because someone has a TK "painting" (a TK painting is a print where hilights have been painted on by "skilled craftsmen"), I try to change the conversation to quality impressionist painters like Manet. Which elicits the response "You mean Monet". I take that as my cue to admit that I misspoke and when my face turns red with anger I feign an allergy to whatever is being served. A lot of ladies in Maple Grove think I am allergic to smoked salmon mini cheesecakes, feta cheese tartlets, potstickers, prosciutto-wrapped asparagus,bruschetta, tiny pizzas and deviled eggs.

From Resentful Mom

1 comment:

Jennie said...

This made me tear up. Not lying.

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