Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Pop Quiz!

I found a sex quiz on I added some of my own answers since I didn't really feel all the answers they offered were applicable to me.

1. During sexual stimulation, foreplay and/or intercourse, I experience the following sexual complaints(s) (check all that apply):
a. Vaginal dryness
b. Lack of genital sensation, tingling and/or warmth with sexual arousal
c. Difficulty achieving orgasm
d. Loss of intensity of orgasm (orgasms feel muffled)
e. Genital pain either with or without sexual contact
f. Lack of sexual interest
g. None of the above
h. the inability of my husband to shape shift into a vibrator or Chris Noth.

2. I feel that my sexual complaint(s) have affected my desire for sex. (In other words, if sex weren’t painful, frustrating, or no fun, I would be more interested.)
a. I have no sexual complaints, just lack of desire
b. I agree
c. I disagree
d. I'm not sure
e. I like sex, just not in the situation I am forced to stay in. I would have sex with literally anyone else. Even an extended family member (between the ages of 21 and 43, male or female).

3. I notice that I have the same sexual difficulties with my partner as I have alone during self-stimulation or I am equally unmotivated or uninterested in self-stimulating as being sexual with my partner.
a. Yes
b. No
c. Don't know
d. Don't self-stimulate
e. I would love to self-stimulate, but Brian decided to remove all the locks on all the inside doors, even the bathrooms, because he was afraid of the kids chocking and we wouldn't be able to get to them. Therefore, I have literally no privacy.

4. There was a time when I was satisfied with my sexual response and/or interest.
a. Yes
b. No
c. Don't Know
d. I kissed a woman once in college. It was wonderful. That was exciting and so was the time I dated the catcher for our college baseball team. I liked him because he was mean to me and used to spank me in public.

5. I am presently being treated with medication and/or psychotherapy for:
a. Depression
b. Anxiety disorder
c. Any psychiatric illness
d. None of the above
e. Life sadness

6. I feel that:
a. My partner knows what to do to satisfy me sexually
b. I am comfortable giving my partner direction about how to stimulate me sexually
c. I am connected to and emotionally intimate with my partner
d. My general/sexual communication with my partner is adequate
e. None of the above
f. Not applicable; I don’t have a partner at this time
g. I give blow jobs as repayment for not working.

7. I have a history of sexual abuse or trauma.
a. Yes
b. No
c. Don't know
d. The catcher who used to spank me. Does that count? Probably not cause I like it, right?

8. If you answered yes to Question 7,
a. I never told anyone
b. I never pressed charges
c. I did not receive counseling
d. I feel this history affects my present sexual life
e. Not applicable
f. I asked for more.

9. The following conditions apply to me:
a. I have had a hysterectomy or other pelvic surgery
b.I am postmenopausal
c. I have diabetes
d. I have cardiovascular disease
e. I smoke
f. I am taking SSRIs (e.g., Zoloft or Prozac)
g. I am taking birth control pills
h. I have had one or more prolonged labor an deliveries (e.g., needed ventouse/suction)

i. I have a history of straddle injury (fell on a bicycle, balance beam, etc.)
j. I have had a back injury and/or back surgery
k. I have had a spinal cord injury
l. I have had genital circumcision
m. I have multiple sclerosis or another neurological disorder
n. I have had two or more children
o. None of the above
p. My vagina is tighter than a 15 year old's. Even though I've had two kids, it doesn't get much use.

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