Friday, February 27, 2009

Tooth Fairy

I had to take Bekka to the dentist today. You see, Brian feels that it is an appropriate form of love to buy a young girl with a sweet tooth, weight problem, and lack of self control 6 pounds of Skittles every week from Costco. And since I can't take the candy away from her (it's like ripping a newborn cub from a Kodiak bear), I am stuck dealing with the aftermath. Like most kids, Bekka hates the dentist. Unlike most kids, she becomes uncontrollably upset and vicious when faced with a dentist visit, which is pretty often these days. The drill usually goes like this: I sit in the car in the school parking lot for 15 minutes psyching myself up by chanting "You can do this" over and over again. I then spend 5-10 minutes, usually with the help of Ms. Swarthright loosening Bekka's death grip from her desk. I carry Bekka out of the school not unlike Liam Neeson handling Jodie Foster in "Nell". When I finally get her buckled up, I pop in Miley Cyrus' "Breakout", which finally calms her down, but as soon as I turn the car off she starts up again like an air raid siren. I then drag her from parking lot to dentist chair and hold her down while they sedate her. The silence in the aftermath of all this chaos is so delightful, I cry. Because it's over. For today.

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